relinquishing | INACTIVE - Appointments

[ --she seems to remember, belatedly, and with a soft "oh" takes a step back, sheepish about discomfiting him.

Then she just -- listens, and watches, her brow still knit. Her eyes fall at his question, and she shakes her head. ]

... he hasn't said much at all. ... actually, I -- didn't ask.

[ She pauses, briefly pressing her hands to her mouth. When she lowers them to speak again, her voice is sad. ]

I -- I've known Luke and Asch for a long time now. It feels like a long time, anyway. Asch can be ... prickly, but I care about him. [ She swallows. ] ... I don't know if any of this is even my business. [ Luke almost died. Asch IS dead. She shakes her head. ] ... I guess I'm just scared. I know how much you mean to them. And I don't ... know how any of that happened.

[The girl probably had good intentions. Really. But Guy, meaning a lot to Luke and Asch?

Hah.

Laughable.

...

It was sentimental of her, he supposes. Sweet, maybe, if the situation had been anything else but this. But right now, Guy's mind can't help but process the comments she gives as anything but... he's not sure of the word. Annoying, possibly. Unnecessary. Emotional words, confused words, said from a girl that was thrown into a situation she really had no place butting into.

If it was anything else, that uncertainty would be the first thing he would try to wipe away, regardless of how he was involved. But If she was aiming to calm her fears by looking for answers, then asking about what happened was probably the worst thing she could be doing.

And she had probably just gone and decided to ask the worst possible person for answers.]

Just because you've know someone for a while or not doesn't mean that you can always understand how they are or what they've gone through. There's only so many ways you can try to empathize with a situation out of your control before you just become a bother.

[He shrugs lightly.] So if they have business they want to keep to themselves, then you're probably better off respecting that.

[ If he was betting on her remaining emotional and confused, then he bet on the wrong horse.

Because when he calls her that -- essentially -- a bother -- her eyes narrow, and her expression turns frosty. It's an alien look on her, but she's on her last legs emotionally and just isn't capable of taking any bullshit. ]

Are you calling me a bother? Is that what you're saying to me?

Don't tell me what I can and can't try to do. Maybe I can't understand everything, but Luke and I are more alike than you think. I've died, Guy. Twice. You can't tell me I don't know what pain is.

What are you hiding from me? [ Her jaw tightens, and she lifts her chin. She is seventeen years old and a human being and god damn it all she will not be cowed by his casual criticism. ]

Edited 2012-05-18 03:49 (UTC)

[He meets her rant with silence and a solid, unwavering gaze of his own, the own rage that flickered on the edges of his composure just barely holding back. She's strong-willed and very much her own person. But ultimately, she's still a stranger. There are some things that she doesn't just have the right to know.

The "why" is one of those things. But the "how"?

Well.

If she plans on being so insistent... then for one split second, he decides that beating around the bush isn't quite worth it.

His voice is steady, but eerily cold when he finally opens his mouth to speak.]

You want to know how it happened, then?

Will that really make you feel better? More secure?

Because hey. I did it.

I was the one who pulled my sword. I killed Asch. I tried to kill Luke. And I did so very aware of my intentions.

[Never mind that it wasn't completely under his control. Never mind that he had told himself that WASN'T what he wanted in the end, that he was TRYING to work his way through it. But he doesn't give a shit about defending himself. He's not in the mood to play "let's talk about my past", and he doubts that any other reason he could give would be justifiable right now. He's not about to make excuses. So blunt portions of the truth would have to do.

What she chose to do with it was her problem, now.]

[ ... it wasn't ... what she expected to hear, no. And she stares at him almost blankly for a moment, uncertain of -- what she just heard, before horror begins to dawn over her expression. She claps a hand to her mouth and turns her back to him, pacing a few steps away, eyes very wide as she stares at the ground and her mind races.

Guy. He tried to murder them both. He succeeded, with one.

That day ... that day he went home, originally. She remembers. She remembers finding Luke on that bridge. The look on his face. How quietly devastated he was. She remembers how he reacted when Guy returned. His ebullient joy.

That is not the way you feel about an enemy who is going to murder you at any time. Which means that ... well. Luke obviously doesn't think of Guy as an enemy or even a danger. But suddenly, his silence over these past few days makes much more sense.

Why? Why do it? Was Guy's kindness all a facade for a murderer? Why do this? Why is he still here, if that's the case? Someone who truly meant to do that would likely be long gone, knowing the hounds would be at his heels, baying for his blood.

But Guy remains, in plain view, where justice can find him at any time. Which means he's willing to face it, for one reason or another. Why?

Something occurs to her. Something she remembers only belatedly. She pulls her journal out of her pocket, flipping through its pages. Back to earlier in the month.

There is a silence. Without turning around, she shuts the little book, puts it back in her pocket, and speaks. Her voice is devoid of inflection. ]

What did the Malnosso do to you while you were gone?

[The reaction was one he wasn't surprised for. Part of him had hoped she would be startled enough to leave - to see him as a killer, as a liar, and to leave it at that. To give him the space he desperately wanted right now, instead of being stuck here to do nothing but answer questions he did not want any part of.

But it was an idle hope, and that question... heh. So she wasn't going to assume he was telling the truth? How noble of her.

He chuckles bitterly, gesturing to the open scars on his arms absentmindedly.]

I guess you mean besides these lovely souvenirs? [He shifts his weight, leaning back in the bed with a slight grimace and keeping his gaze steady on the far wall, away from her.] Nothing that changed my perceptions of either of them, if that's what you're asking. These bastards might be toying with us left and right. But they didn't tamper with my mind. They didn't control me.

So sorry if that's not exactly what you want to hear.

Stop -- talking like that! [ She rounds on him, lashing out in a mixture of fury and sorrow and hurt. ] So condescending. Like you don't care.

[ ... she sags, so infinitely tired and ill to her core. ]

Why are you trying to make me believe you're a murderer?

I'm not trying to make you believe anything. I'm just telling you what you came to hear, remember? You're allowed to think whatever you want about it - it won't change my answers.

[Believe him, doubt him, see him as a murderer or something else entirely... really, Xion, you're wrong. He doesn't care. Because right now, he doesn't want to care. He wants to do everything but care about what people think of him. It's not his business to change that.]

... did you know Luke has been trying to contact you?

[...

He hesitates, his voice lowering in volume.]

Doesn't surprise me. He needs to focus on recovering. Not on talking to me.

[ There. Finally. A chink in the armor. ]

I think he thinks I don't notice. But practically every time I look up his journal's moved. He's been trying to contact you for days, Guy. [ There's no malice, no point. Her voice is gentle. ]

Well he needs to just cut it out.

[Is that bitterness? It's kind of hard to place. But his tone is sharp around the edges, regardless.]

Edited (wow I suck at english) 2012-05-18 06:12 (UTC)

... he's not going to.

[ She approaches, again, but no closer than the first time, staying outside of what seems to be his too-close-for-comfort zone. ]

... you should know that even better than I do.

[Guy doesn't respond. His eyes narrow and cloud over, his gaze never leaving the far wall, lips pressing into a thin line and fighting back a grimace.

Yes. He knew Luke wouldn't give up. Not until Guy responded. Even if Luke had to drag himself out of his bed to talk to Guy, he wouldn't hesitate if it was his last resort.

Tch... the stubborn idiot.]

... I know you care, Guy. You can pretend to me all you want that you don't, but ... even if I don't know you, I know Luke. And he wouldn't love you as much as he does if you weren't worth it.

[ She finally turns away, intending to leave. Though she pauses, at the door. ]

Hey, Guy?

[He has to force back another hollow chuckle. Heh. Worth it, huh?

He wasn't sure that was something he'd ever be likely to believe. Whether that was the reason Luke kept clinging, or whether it was just his blind, idealistic trust in a person he had known all his life.

But if that's what Xion wanted to think, then he supposed he couldn't stop her.

He lifts his head, just a little - not enough to make eye contact, but just to acknowledge that he was listening.]

Hmm...?

... what should I tell him you said?

[ Her gaze is clear. Not a challenge, but not a question, either. A statement of intent. ]

[And there's that empty laugh. Trying so hard to be chipper. He can't help it.]

Hah, that's not something for me to decide! Tell him whatever you want. I can't stop you.

... so I should tell him you were too much of a coward to even come up with anything of your own?

[ Her mouth twists. ]

Or you could just tell him exactly what I said.

[Finally turning back to look at her, a half-smirk on his face.] It really isn't that hard.

[ For some reason that sets off her temper completely. If she had something to throw at his head, injuries be damned, it would already be on its way. As it is, fury is writ large and clear on her face, her hands balled up into fists as she glares him down. As it is, fire and electricity spark and curl around her arms, though she keeps it under control. ]

You -- what's wrong with you? How can you keep treating this like a joke? Luke hasn't said two words since he woke up and you just sit there with a smile on your face! Why?!

[The smirk doesn't vanish. In fact, he doesn't seem to react at all. His expression just... pains. At the mention of Luke. Just slightly; in how his gaze drifts over with an unreadable emotion, how his smile tightens at the edges.]

If I wanted to treat this like a joke, then we wouldn't be talking about it at all.

I've given you answers. It's your choice whether you want to believe me or not. Paint me in whatever way you please, whether it's for Luke's sake or your own - there's nothing I've said that Luke hasn't already heard.

[ ... though the adjustments to his expression are so minor she can only barely sense them, something innate in her sees a difference clear as day, and it sends chills racing down her spine.

His words, too, sink in, and the power vanishes from her hands, which uncurl from their fists. ]

... so he's heard that ... you have nothing to say? That you'd want me to make something up?

The ... only thing you want your best friend to know is that you don't care what he knows?

The only thing I need my best friend to do is get himself better.

[The verbal snap was sudden, the smile wiped from his face for a violent moment. There's a long pause, and he's back onto neutral territory, his voice low.]

I said you could tell him whatever you want. If that means making something up... well, I'm not too fond of people putting words into my mouth like that. I wouldn't really expect you to stoop that low, either. But if you think that's best, then that's your decision.

[Because what she was relaying was the harsh truth of the matter, as long as she didn't decide to warp it. All the things he wants Luke to know - all the things he's been bottling up to tell him - are things that don't need an in-between.

He'll let Luke knows exactly what he thinks is important with his own lips. Not hers.

But he's not about to tell her that.]

[ Frankly, she finds it a relief when he lashes out. A second chink in his armor that reminds her he's human.

She breathes out, shaky and slow, watching him. At this point, she doesn't trust him, and is maybe, deep down, a little frightened of whatever it is he's capable of. He's clearly not the person she believed he was. She wonders, even, if he's the person Luke seems to believe he is, though she'll never, ever raise that question to him unless he gives her very good cause. ]

You're strange. [ The words, faint, barely above a whisper, leave her before she can stop them, and she has to shake her head. ] I'm not going to invent anything. I just don't know what to say. I guess ... I'll figure it out.

[ She hovers for a moment, clearly desperate to leave at this point but unsure if she should. Finally, her mouth tightens into a thin, white line, and she does something maybe stupid and pointless:

She casts a Curaga on him. Maybe it will help.

And then she's gone. ]

INACTIVE - Appointments - IC

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keywords because I'm a bitch

goddamn

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